Lesson learnt: Don't let anyone in.
A slack jaw and single, heavy thud of my heart as I look between them
and realise the events that will follow.
A gulp as I swallow my fantasies for him and bury them deep.
A shrug as I shake off any unjust and un-entitled feelings of betrayal
that threaten to cloud her in my head.
" Its fine," I hear my brain whisper softly to my heart.
"He's not yours and she is great"
Crying would feel good, but I can't muster a single sob.
I wade through my pain with a bittersweet smile on my lips.
My love for him has long seemed unrealistic, but I had hooked my heart
on these silly dreams.
She is an easy friend. Funny, beautiful, social and sparky.
He obviously has seen this in her too.
Shame he never saw it in me.
Crashing into new realities hurt.
-le love.
im sorry. my blogger hasnt worked in forever.
x
and realise the events that will follow.
A gulp as I swallow my fantasies for him and bury them deep.
A shrug as I shake off any unjust and un-entitled feelings of betrayal
that threaten to cloud her in my head.
" Its fine," I hear my brain whisper softly to my heart.
"He's not yours and she is great"
Crying would feel good, but I can't muster a single sob.
I wade through my pain with a bittersweet smile on my lips.
My love for him has long seemed unrealistic, but I had hooked my heart
on these silly dreams.
She is an easy friend. Funny, beautiful, social and sparky.
He obviously has seen this in her too.
Shame he never saw it in me.
Crashing into new realities hurt.
-le love.
im sorry. my blogger hasnt worked in forever.
x
hmm
"Its not fair for someone to have such a hold on you that when you see the word "boy" you think of him. When you see the word "smile" your stomach lurches, remembering his. When you see the word "hug" your arms feel cold, longing for his embrace. When you see the word "kiss" nothing else matters but that memory, horrified at the thought of it slipping away from you. When you see the word "love" you wonder if he'll ever feel the same. When you see the word "forever" you’re terrified of feeling this agony always."
x
p.s. we lit a lantern tonight and the whole thing caught alight!! cheap rubbish lanterns. pfft.
I want this.
These posts are rubbish. I'll do better ones soon. Ive got a few treats :)
What a beaut.
xxxxx
soresoresore and tired
I have super pants at blogging. I know I know. Ive had so much on. But only managed to go get tonsillitis. Possibly glandular fever. I hope to god it isnt because thats the last thing I need at the moment. So I'm sleeping roughly 16/17 hours a day. Which is slightly annoying to say the least. argh.
Anyway. I'm awake :) so I'm forcing myself to get a blog done.
These pictres are beautiful. Littledoeislove. I did actually steal this idea off Wendy. I'm not that good.
This no high street clothes thing is getting really hard now. I mean, two weeks after new year I went into Peacocks with a friend, thinking it was only peacocks. I won't be too tempted. They only had the pefect moccassins I had spent half a year looking for. Bloody sods law.
So yeah, a month and a half into the year and Im seriously struggling. Oh dear.
This man is perfect. We shall get married and have babies. And he will sing to me in his beautiful voice and we will live happily ever after. Watch it to the very end, where he dances. He is perfect, actually perfect.
Anyway. One good thing about no high street clothes, is im saving quite a lot of money. Which can only be a plus. And at the moment I'm particularly saving to go traveling. I must spend 24 hours a day thinking about traveling and where I'm going to go. This summer I'm volunteering in Africa. And the summer after I cant think of anything better than going around europe. So I'm going to need rather a lot of money :)
xxxxxx
Anyway. I'm awake :) so I'm forcing myself to get a blog done.
These pictres are beautiful. Littledoeislove. I did actually steal this idea off Wendy. I'm not that good.
This no high street clothes thing is getting really hard now. I mean, two weeks after new year I went into Peacocks with a friend, thinking it was only peacocks. I won't be too tempted. They only had the pefect moccassins I had spent half a year looking for. Bloody sods law.
So yeah, a month and a half into the year and Im seriously struggling. Oh dear.
This man is perfect. We shall get married and have babies. And he will sing to me in his beautiful voice and we will live happily ever after. Watch it to the very end, where he dances. He is perfect, actually perfect.
Anyway. One good thing about no high street clothes, is im saving quite a lot of money. Which can only be a plus. And at the moment I'm particularly saving to go traveling. I must spend 24 hours a day thinking about traveling and where I'm going to go. This summer I'm volunteering in Africa. And the summer after I cant think of anything better than going around europe. So I'm going to need rather a lot of money :)
xxxxxx
Livid.
Blogger is seriously getting on my nerves. It seems to dislike me. And especially when I try to upload pictures.
I planned to give you one quote. But theyre all so wonderful, you've got billions. Mahatma Gandhi. Possibly the most beautiful mind to ever exist.
"Nobody can hurt me without my permission"
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
"The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity."
"A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever"
"Be the change that you want to see in the world."
"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
"To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest."
My favourite.
"What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea."
xxx
I planned to give you one quote. But theyre all so wonderful, you've got billions. Mahatma Gandhi. Possibly the most beautiful mind to ever exist.
"Nobody can hurt me without my permission"
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
"The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity."
"A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever"
"Be the change that you want to see in the world."
"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
"To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest."
My favourite.
"What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea."
xxx
Ive been awful lately.
Lots and lots and lots of work to do. As everyone does. But I'll leave you with this gorgeous photo.
weheartit
xxxx
weheartit
xxxx
Designers??
A lady at work the other day asked me who my favourite designers were. Its such a big a question, I splurged out all these names and she was a bit confused, bless her. So I thought I'd go through a few of my favourites at the moment.
Rodarte. These ladies produce collections that are actually stuff of fantasy. Not the extravagance of dreams and nightmares, but day dreams. To me, it resembles the feeling you have when you're in between being asleep and awake. The colours they use are sort of surreal, but because of the mass of textures they become delicate and work beautifully. And my word. The SHOES. I would die happy if I could just touch one of those shoes.
Alexander McQueen. Just because...wow. How do you describe Alexander Mcqueen? He IS theatre within fashion. His collections make my heart race and they never ever fail to leave you bewildered and in awe.
The same with Viktor and Rolf. They are extremely talented designers, with the most amazing inspirations and takes on things. They do what they want, regardless. "For us, fashion is an antidote to reality."
Nina Ricci. The artistic director, Olivier Theyskens, used a rich, autumn palette for the Fall 08 show, which was different from his normal sheer, paler colours. He creates such subtle, soft silhouettes and with sensuous fabrics. Whereas Nina Ricci used to be a "frilly" brand, he creates a melancholy Romanticism without sickly colours or stereotypical cuts. I much prefer his work for Nina Ricci than Rochas as the collections just seem more free, he seems restricted with Rochas.
Theres a few :)
xxx
Rodarte. These ladies produce collections that are actually stuff of fantasy. Not the extravagance of dreams and nightmares, but day dreams. To me, it resembles the feeling you have when you're in between being asleep and awake. The colours they use are sort of surreal, but because of the mass of textures they become delicate and work beautifully. And my word. The SHOES. I would die happy if I could just touch one of those shoes.Alexander McQueen. Just because...wow. How do you describe Alexander Mcqueen? He IS theatre within fashion. His collections make my heart race and they never ever fail to leave you bewildered and in awe.
The same with Viktor and Rolf. They are extremely talented designers, with the most amazing inspirations and takes on things. They do what they want, regardless. "For us, fashion is an antidote to reality." 
Nina Ricci. The artistic director, Olivier Theyskens, used a rich, autumn palette for the Fall 08 show, which was different from his normal sheer, paler colours. He creates such subtle, soft silhouettes and with sensuous fabrics. Whereas Nina Ricci used to be a "frilly" brand, he creates a melancholy Romanticism without sickly colours or stereotypical cuts. I much prefer his work for Nina Ricci than Rochas as the collections just seem more free, he seems restricted with Rochas.
Theres a few :)
xxx
New year.
New start. As everyone says. Im so excited for this year. New years resoloution?? Officially no high street clothes for a year. Only second hand and fairtrade. :)
Hello there 2009. :)
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